She said call me now baby, and I'd come a runnin'

I always start thing and forget them. what gives. it's probably because i smoke so much pot. but probably not, seeing as i clearly just like laying around and doing nothing.

IT is fun though, just laying around. So relaxing. One thing I wish was mandatory was relaxation. What the fuck! Why cant our society just be cool cool cool as shit? Why the constant bland things and striving for mediocrity (anyone wearing khaki or beige)? i say let's begin anew. Naps for everyone. No more 15 minute break bullshit. I want a siesta, and i want it now. COLORS. EVERYWHERE! pink houses, lime green cars. except not as lame as the volkswagon beetle, because you will just end up looking like a fucking retard in that atrocity. Jesus Christ.

I also think people need to wear more patterns, and have a living room that looks like this:

I just get the feeling that as me and a lot of my friends are "growing up", aka graduating college which has absolutely nothing to do with growing up as all of us are completely 100% dependant on our parents still, and feeling like they need to become "more adult". What the fuck does that even mean? Why do I need to start shopping for beige things (i think it's clear, my thoughts on beige and anything in the like) and wearing disgusting "business clothes"? I hate dressing "up" for work, it's so fucking stupid. I'm off stuck pondering human society, especially ours, and why we do the things we do and have the societal rules we have.

anyways, point being(ish) that i want crazy shit. i want to do crazy shit. not all the time, but sprinkled here and there to keep me green and alive! It makes me sick to think that my friends, a whopping 95% of them are going to settle down in a year somewhere in midsize-forgettable town, midwest US of A, and act like their life is charming, when what's really going on is they are afraid of the unknown.

I don't buy into anyone's excuses, and I hear a lot of them. "it's too expensive to travel." If you really wanted to, you would find a way. You should always find a way to make yourself happy. point blank.

I have one semester to go and there is this surprisingly impatient ache inside of me to see the world, be out there with PEOPLE of the world, those with whom i share an entire planet! i want to talk to everyone, meet every kind of person, love a hundred more people and learn about every different way humans live! i want to dance and sing and eat with all kinds! how wonderful that would be.

i hate making plans. as of now my future plan is to jet off to south america for a while after graduation. i will actually be teaching an english course at a university in Santiago, Chile in the spring, but hopefully i can plan a vacation throughout south america before i hunker down and start a "real life job". but that's only until august of 2010. then, as of now, i would hopefully be attending a university outside of the US. I know homesickness, and i know her pretty well. she was kind of a bitchy fuck last time, but the next will be different. i have nothing holding me back, save my family, but my travels only give them an excuse to get out of the country and visit their" wayward daughter", as my mother once called me. no little sinews of bone connecting my heart to anything that weighs more than friendship, and what a heavy weight that can be!

I'm ready to be out there, away from the comforts of home, naked, no walls or inhibitions, exploring the world and obviously exploring my own mind. limitations and capacities will be stretched and strained, but no doubt will i emerge from whatever i'm looking for, very peaceful and wise.

more to come-

k